Live Delayed Blogging from my Desk: Second Presidential Inauguration

8:45 a.m. Got up early to prepare for the swearing in of Obama.

8:46 a.m. Wondered which swear words will be used.

8:49 a.m. My iPhone is predicting a patriotic rainstorm

10:42 a.m. Received Obama's first tweet of the day:

10:45  a.m. The POTUS and THE FLOTUS  head to the capital.

10:48 a.m. Learned that the Supremes will be performing along with Beyonce, James Taylor and more.

 11:42 a.m. Spotted politically inspired, gourmet graffiti art...or is it the tomb of the unknown barista?

11:51a.m. Holy sh*t, Obama is about to be sworn in

11:53 a.m.  Celebrated with patriotic sand art (soon to be available in my etsy store)

12:00 p.m. Made a list of all the Presidential balls.

12:01 p.m. Snickered when I re-read the words: Presidential Balls.

12:02 p.m. Decided it was time to stop blogging

Live Delayed Blogging from my Desk: The Straight Dope on Lance Armstrong

4:30 p.m. Cheated while playing a game of solitaire. Then lied to Julie about it. And then threatened to throw her off the solitaire team if she told anybody.

5:00 p.m. Posted all my Lance Armstrong paraphernalia on E-bay

5:32 p.m. Ended up bidding on tickets to the Inaugural Ball.

5:52 p.m. Learned that Lance “allegedly” took a drug with the street name: Edgar Allen Poe

5:55 p.m. Wondered what drug might have the street name Dr. Suess.

5: 58 p.m. Developed a list of interview questions approved by the Imagineering Company’s department of corrections:

1.   What do you think a good sentence for cheating is?

2.   Have you ever bullied a semi colon?

3.   Do you think you should capitalize crime in a sentence?

6: 00 p.m. Wondered if Lance will plagiarize his autobiography.

6:15 p.m. Tried turning Lance’s last name into a verb. Check this out: “If you can’t strong arm your friends to do drugs Armstrong them.” Yes, I think it works nicely.

6:28 p.m. Wondered if Lance will pursue a career in politics…seems like a natural.

6:30 p.m. Considered creating a new foundation called LieStrong—A non-profit for people who lie, cheat and steal for profit.

6: 45 p.m. I’m sorry I need to interrupt this entry to make my own admission. I doped myself before writing this blog. Which is why I am sprinting to the end of this sentence.

6:58 p.m. Need to confess that I didn’t do it alone…the letter e was also doping. It will be banned from the alphabet and have its title as vowel removed.

7:00 p.m. Oh wll,, I won anyway…and that’s all that mattrs.