Happy 4/20

In honor of 4/20 we present the TIC Cannibus Challenge.

To prepare simply go to any of San Francisco’s parks (Golden Gate or Dolores recommended) take a few deep breaths and then perform the following tasks:

Write a one-sentence essay using a single word.

Wonder out loud what a 3-D paper cut would feel like. 

Discuss whether or not a 3-D cut is considered a pre–existing condition if you live in a 2-D world.

Debate the nutritional value of Scooby snacks.

Contemplate an entire universe on a grain of sand.  What would it smell like?

Do a paint by irrational numbers masterpiece.

Design a meme park.

List all the possible meanings of life. Now, wonder what they would taste like dipped in chocolate.

Tie-dye your favorite Neru jacket. Then wish you hadn’t.

Last Minute Tax Prep

The Imagineering Company’s Official Guide to Unofficial Write Offs

When preparing your taxes please consider the following:

1. The Standard Verbage Rate allowed for operating your vocabulary for
non-professional reasons is 23 cents per word. For unprofessional reasons the rate is 

24 cents per word.

2. If you borrowed any words during the year you need to report the interest. Please note, you may deduct the first thousand consonants.

3. According to the Paperword Reduction Act Notice, all words that appear on paper will be taxed according to the following calculation— add the number of words on lines 2 and 3 then subtract with the sum of the square of the hypotenuse of lines 4-5. If the resulting word is bigger than place it in column A.

3. Gifts of words are deductible assuming there are no four letter words.

4. If you made a gift of more than 250 words please attach a statement explaining why.

5. Use of foreign language in any domestic correspondence is taxed at 32% or more depending on the country. For more information, contact your verbal representative.

6. The following words cannot be deducted:

curate, hipster, organic, update, arbitrary

7. Emoticons are not considered words and therefore are non-taxable in all states but New Jersey.

8. If you overpaid your verbal taxes you will receive a refund in your voicemail.

9. You cannot deduct the word dependents but you can deduct dependents.

10. Homonyms are automatically deducted from your payroll.

11.The following words are exempt from taxes:

Imagineering, Susan, Julie

April Fool's Word Scramble

Rearrange the letters to form a familiar word. Then string them together to reveal the hidden message.

1. rrosl

2. tubsol

3. yctal

4. oescj

5. fumy

6. fualh

7. uimoshr

8. emliibusp

9. raeps

10. kqusf

Answer key:

1. Sorry 2. but  3. you 4. have 5. been 6. pranked 7. Happy 8. April 9 Fool’s 10. Day